i get really bad D-MER

Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex & late night motherhood thoughts

I kid you not, Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex: it’s a real thing and it sucks. Add it to the long list of ‘things that happen to mothers that are not known to many.’

I first learned about D-MER through the one & only Karrie Locher about a month before my second child arrived. D-MER is a wave of negative emotion that hits just prior to letdown (during breastfeeding or pumping). “Also, it is important to realize that because the intensity of the D-MER experience is variable, the emotional responses experienced with D-MER fall within a three-level spectrum: despondency, anxiety and agitation. The most commonly used words used are: a hollow feeling in the stomach, anxiety, sadness, dread, introspectiveness, nervousness, anxiousness, emotional upset, angst, irritability, hopelessness and general negative emotions. (D-MER.org)” I had never heard of it before, and I didn’t experience it my first time being postpartum. After my first born three years ago, I had a lot of postpartum anxiety, and breastfeeding was not very enjoyable (because I felt like this most of the time: moo 🐄), but D-MER? Not on my radar by any means.

This time around, D-MER is hitting hard. Every single time I pump and feed, the hormone drop is insane.