in a time of crisis, love thy neighbor

7 tips for grounding yourself through community building

It’s 2025 and we’re facing what feels like another turning point in society. Wars are in motion globally, the climate crisis is worsening, public funding — for the young, old, immigrant, lower income, gay communities, and more — is being stripped away in the States (along with our rights???)… And somehow we are all still expected to show up for work to perform? The hypernormalization of all the world’s issues is exhausting.

I’m just a girl (mother of two) with the simplest goal of wanting to live a peaceful life. I’m trying to focus on hobbies and disconnect from my screen time in order to get back to a more vibrant version of myself that I was pre-iPhone and social media. I used to sit around and study things, leisurely play video games, learn new random skills like nail art designs just for the heck of it. The only objective was to have fun and explore. No KPIs, no learning for the sake of career growth. Only good vibes. The onslaught of bad news the past few years has not helped with living a peaceful life. Like, am I doomscrolling, or is doom showing up on my feeds as soon as I open any app?

The amount of mothers I know with young children that are having the biggest sense of constant dread looming over them is endless. I don’t know that any of us truly know how to cope with carrying the weight of the world while also raising children in said world. What I do know is that showing up earnestly and sharing humanity helps. In a time of crisis, love thy neighbor.

How do we do this? How do we turn pain into tangible action?

Here’s what’s worked for me so far:

1. Call your friends & call them often. Parasocial relationships will not heal you, but real friendship will. Check in on your long distance friends, and check in on the ones that live 10 miles away, but you’ve both been too busy to meet IRL. It’s hard to get used to calling people after building a habit like texting where you can just respond right away and feel like you’re “connecting.” Phone calls can feel foreign especially when a lot of people now don’t like talking on the phone, but I promise you the more you do it — the more you’ll enjoy it. There is something very healing about hearing each other’s voices: the inflections of their laugh, the ‘ummms’ and ‘hmms’ that exist as you’re both catching up on your days. It may take a few phone tags to get in a rhythm, but it’ll be worth it!

2. Bring back introducing yourself. Is this a lost art? Have we stopped introducing ourselves to others and replaced it with passive small talk as a way of connecting? I have noticed more and more that people will make small talk with me and others around me, but they will never introduce themselves by name. Why?! I admit that I have done this in the past — I’ll be standing in line to order food somewhere and start talking with the person next to me about what they’re ordering or if they have a favorite item on the menu, but fail to introduce myself in the process. We have an awesome five minute convo and then poof, we both order and say goodbye without ever knowing each others’ names. Now, I’m in the camp of intentionally introducing myself and shaking hands with someone once we start a conversation. We exchange names, talk about whatever it is that brought us to that moment, and whether or not we end up exchanging numbers or simply having that one conversation, it’s an awesome energy exchange that leaves me feeling more connected because I know them personally now.

   

3. Make stuff for your neighbors. I have one neighbor in particular that loves to bake and I love to cook, so we’re constantly exchanging little plates of food and sweets on any given day. We don’t wait for a special event or holiday to bring each other food, it’s just what we do. Another form of these exchanges can extend to sharing resources outside of food: whatever skills you are open to sharing, do it! This is an awesome way to show up for one another that doesn’t feel like you’re over-extending yourself, because you’re already doing it anyways.

4. Talk to your librarian. Librarians are an amazing community resource & collection curators. They are what feels like the gatekeepers of a vast pool of knowledge and they are (generally) extremely kind! By visiting your local library & talking to your librarian about anything you’re looking to research, you’re supporting public libraries and building connection; not only through this particular community resource, but through stories as well.

5. Set more play dates. Hear me out: we all need to play more!! I set play dates for my child, and I set play dates for myself. I invite myself over to some of my friends’ places to hang, because most of them are usually very open to it! I think many of us are exhausted and don’t want to stress about hosting, but if we remove the responsibility of hosting and just make it some good ol’ hang time that usually takes the pressure off having people over. Make it a board game hang, a nail painting hang, do crafts, create a reading parlor out of your space, or even a snack reviewing hang where you all bring one snack to try. Be silly and be earnest, because what’s life if you can’t have a little fun?

6. Go hug a tree. If you’ve been reading my writing on substack, you know that I fairly regularly mention & recommend touching grass. In the same vein, hugging a tree is an act of connection and community. Living in the city, it’s easy to forget that we are not part of nature. You read that correctly: we are not part of nature because we are nature. To hug a tree is to connect with your neighbor in that you’re connecting back with mother earth. A lot of times when I walk through the city and pass a tree I’ll touch it with my hand and say something like “thank you!” or “thanks for being here.” It’s my way of expressing gratitude and taking a moment to ground myself in the bits of nature around me.

   

   tree hugger, 2025

7. Literally, do things for other people. I think my biggest takeaway so far this year is that we as a society have forgotten that acts of service is a love language that can heal you. Maybe it’s pandemic residual that has kept us more isolated and closed off than ever before, but we need to stop closing ourselves off from one another and keeping our heads down. Yes, volunteering can be a great way to get more involved in your community, but small, daily gestures can be an action of connection with just as much impact. Be the person who offers to help someone who’s carrying one too many items out of the grocery store. Help a friend move an old couch out of their place, organize their pantry with them, or offer to watch their dog for the weekend when you hear they’re going out of town. Yes, this takes a bit more energy, but that’s also what community building calls for. Showing up for one another is action exemplified.