time to tap back into your inner voice
tips on deprogramming & reprogramming to listen to your gut
A few weeks ago I wrote the comment below on
’s article what’s stopping you from doing what you want? And since then, I have been getting these little reminders - in the form of likes on the comment - to unpack what I had said in two sentences.
Erifili wrote a thoughtful article unpacking the concept of following your gut. Listen to your intuition: do the thing that’s calling to you, trust in the process and see where it leads. It’s a lovely reminder for anyone, but the reality is that it is so much easier said than done for many people. I grew up raised by immigrants. And although my parents were well intentioned in many ways, the way they operated and my understanding to follow suit led me to a place of compliance. Assimilation, operating head-down, doing the ‘safe’ work, and not following my passions without having a day job to get to a place of financial security to ultimately give myself & them peace of mind of my future. While operating from that mindset led me to gain a good amount of financial literacy, have a great job that was seen as innovative and high-paying, and essentially build a career that was well regarded where I was also well-respected, I was so far away from my soul.
I really don’t have any other way to explain it other than I had somehow pushed myself into a space that was so far away from what I imagined my life to be that it felt really foreign. The duality was wild because as proud as I was of the way I was contributing to a large company where I felt my impact mattered, I also could feel myself bifurcating between who I was and what I had always hoped to become. My body and mind were too tired at the end of each day to really carve out space for creative outlets. I was driving full speed on the corporate train and it was exhausting.
It wasn’t so much corporate burnout as much as it was living in misalignment from what my soul needed. And it actually got me to a place of making the decision to leave corporate America and take a chance on myself. The decision was never easy, though. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to quit my job. How many times I did quit my jobs throughout my career path! The whole reason I started working in entertainment was because I am creative, and I was hoping that my internship at a film production company would somehow lead me to be on the big screen. When push came to shove, my hopes of being able to sneak away to auditions on my lunch breaks turned into working long hours on administrative work. Yes, my hard work was recognized and I was able to gain so much valuable knowledge of the inner working of the entertainment industry, but I wasn’t creating.
That journey continued on a decade-long career path, and I finally got to a point where my gut was screaming at me to take a chance on myself. It was years and years of deprogramming and reprogramming to get to a space where I could confidently make that decision to step off the hamster wheel. And although I could unpack that journey for hours (another story for another day), I’m sharing here a few tips that I hope will be helpful for anyone struggling to listen to their gut and take a leap of faith. I say this for all the other children of immigrants, for the ones who were always taught to play it safe, and for anyone who can feel that shift to take a risk on themselves but don’t quit feel like they are ready yet. The path to living in alignment is a long and winding one, but once you actively choose to walk it - there is a reward that is experienced that will carry you through life with a lot of trust (in yourself & G.U.S - god/universe/spirit).
tips to tap back into your inner voice:
Give yourself more quiet time. I’m talking no music, no TV shows playing in the background, no playing a YouTube video while you study, nada. For many people (myself included) it can be very difficult to be alone with your thoughts. It’s awkward at first, and it can feel like you need to fill the quiet with something, but give it a chance to see what comes of it. The beauty in letting yourself have some quality quiet time is that you’ll allow your brain to start dumping ideas out. Start small with something like no music while you shower, and before you know it, you’ll start getting into a state of flow when you focus on singular tasks at a time without added noise. That inner voice will start to speak up more clearly and the ideas will have space to come to you.
Take yourself on a date. You know that feeling you get when you have a cute date with a person that you just met? Like, the initial vibes were good, you’re getting ready, feeling pretty, and you’re actually excited for the night ahead? Give that feeling to yourself. Plan a solo date with whatever will bring you joy - maybe a hike or a picnic in the park. And make sure that you pack a notebook and pen with you so that at some point on this date you can sit and reflect on how you’re feeling. Think of it as time to journal and let your thoughts fall onto the pages. No pressure to get it ‘right’, or to have anything figured out. This is time to treat yourself to something simple that you enjoy and allow yourself time to unpack whatever is on your mind. The hope is that you’ll have an experience special to you and that joy will spark ideas.
Spend time with your inner child. Remember simpler times when you were little and all you did was play? Spend some time during your week reflecting on what brought you joy as a child. For me, it was singing, dancing, and hanging out with my girlfriends. Off the top of my head, these were things that I could spend hours doing and be left feeling energized. What were the little joys in your life that felt authentic to you? Was it reading? Maybe doing arts and crafts? Kicking a soccer ball around with friends? Thinking back to times that felt simple because you were living authentically (before adulthood forced you to really tap into the layers of responsibility and societal norms). A great writing prompt for this is to write a letter to your younger self: in the letter, talk about your life today (job, friends, family, hobbies). Then reflect with your younger self like she’s an old friend (ie. remember when we used to spend hours attempting nail art with all the nail polishes and endless acetone’d cotton balls?) The hope is that you are able to unpack old parts of yourself that resonate with who you are today.
Give yourself an emo timer. We all need to feel our feelings. Being on a journey of tapping back into your inner voice is not for the weak. When life knocks you down, it’s very okay to stay down and sob it out. Feel the sadness, grief, anger, etc. Just make sure you feel those feelings and then let them go. When something hits me like an emotional wrecking ball, I personally always allow myself about one day to sulk. I get cozy on the couch and watch a comfort show, cry under my blanket, or eat my feelings. And when the day is done I say ‘Tomorrow is a new day, and I can let this feeling of sadness go.’ And I usually pair it with other mantras or words of affirmation. After practicing this a lot, I find myself able to use my emo timer when needed throughout different parts of my days & move through my feelings and process in a way that feels healthy and intentional.
reflect, then take action:
Deprogramming from years of misalignment takes a lot of reflection. Quality time needs to be spent doing the work to figure out what exactly that voice that’s been quieted for so long has to say. Once you feel like you’ve digested enough information to move forward with, it’s time to take action. When you’re working towards reprogramming I can’t stress enough how important it is to take action. Small, baby steps to get you going. If you’ve noticed in reflecting that you like drawing, then start taking drawing classes at your local community college. Or simply go take yourself on a date to an art supply store and get some familiar mediums to play with. You need to do something, anything to see how these ideas make you feel when you put them in action. Taking action will lead to failures and successes. And as scary as failing is, it’s better than never trying and wondering ‘what if’.
And lastly remember that it can be both, and. Let’s face it, many people are multi-faceted. Life is multi-faceted. And as we continue to evolve as a collective and on our own life journeys, it’s important to note that it can indeed be both, and. What I mean by that is, some people don’t need to go full creative entrepreneur to be deemed worthy. You’re not here for anyone to tell you that you’re cool because you’re doing the thing that others are scared to do. You’re not here to seek external approval. What you’re here for is to get back to the roots of what brings you joy. That inner voice has been quieted long enough, and you can give yourself permission to take time to listen and reflect. You may end up deciding that what brings you the most joy is crocheting different tops for you dogs. And guess what? That doesn’t have to be capitalized on either to bring you joy. No need to build out an Etsy shop & scale a business to get a certain amount of money made by the end of the year. You can have a regular nine-to-five to make money and crochet tops in your free time simply because it brings you joy. Try to remind yourself that whatever you decide feels right for you is enough. x
So many great gems of advice and actionable steps to take feels like this landed in my inbox at the perfect time 💛
Love this! Your point on “both, and” made me snap my fingers. It reminds me of an article I wrote similarly about being a multifaceted creative, it’s called “yes, and”. https://open.substack.com/pub/glosgems/p/yes-and-the-untold-tale-of-a-bootstrapped?r=4ffz3&utm_medium=ios